The Winter of our Discontent
by TurkWriter
Summary: Ichigo spends some quality time with his inner self. Contains spoilers for up until Chapter 225. Rater M for language. IchiXRuki but not exactly a romance fic.


A/N: This is dedicated to all of the IchiRuki fan club members at BF. Keep on trucking, guys!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. What, you don't believe me?

This place is like a friggin' desert, Ichigo thought to himself as he let out another large yawn. Although he had taken his jacket off, his body was still covered in a thin layer of sweat and every few minutes he would have to rub his eyes to get the dust that had been kicked into the air the day before while he had been training out of them. Plus, his face hurt from having that damn mask break off every few minutes. He glanced around at the people surrounding him; all of them were sleeping peacefully. Well, they were all sleeping at least. Hiyori kept kicking Hirako anytime he'd roll anywhere close to her vicinity.

He took a quick glance down at his watch. The hands informed him that it was a few minutes before half past six in the morning. He suppressed a low growl. Damn Vizards. He shifted his back against the rock he was sitting against, hoping to become more comfortable. He scoffed. Yeah, it wasn't happening. And to think, less than a half hour ago, he had been deeply sleeping. But then that stupid Lisa had kicked him in the side.

"Get up, asshole," she had snarled. "I'm giving you two minutes to start your watch before you get to meet my Shikai." He had rubbed his eyes and looked at her blankly for a moment before opening his mouth to protest. Intimidating as she may be, she didn't seem to be the leader of the group of Vizards. And if Ichigo was going to be a part of that group, well, he wasn't going to put up with this kind of shit. But before any objections could leave his mouth, she had stepped on his face. "I'm not kidding. I am fucking exhausted. Get your ass up and take my place." She had grinded the ball of her foot into his face for good measure before walking off to a spot a few feet away and daintily setting herself onto her back on the dirty ground and apparently going back to sleep. Ichigo had stared at her for a moment, wondering why so many of the females in his life were so Goddamn violent and why he couldn't have been woken up by the peaceful one who kept calling him 'Berry-tan' before he got up and started his watch.

A few hours earlier he had flopped to the ground, exhausted, after Hiyori had finally deemed his training complete for the day. He would have been perfectly content to have just gone to sleep but an odd feeling had taken over him. It was like he was being watched. He had turned around to see the rest of the Vizards watching him, most of them with disgust on their faces.

"What the hell are you lookin' at?" he had scowled. Rose had given him an exasperated look as he pinched his nose.

"You're starting to smell." The other Vizards nodded in agreement. Ichigo had felt one of his eyes twitch.

"Well, no shit! What'd you guys expect! I've been fightin' with you all day!" He had lay back down and turned his head away from the Vizards. "I'll wash up tomorrow mornin'. Now, leave me the hell alone. I'm tired." The feeling of being glared at didn't stop. He tried to ignore it. He really did. But within twenty seconds, he had sat back up. "DID YOU NOT HEAR ME! I SAID-"

"We heard what you said, idiot," Hirako had quietly stated, rolling his eyes. "But you're not understanding us. You are beginning to smell." Hirako had then pointed in the opposite direction. Ichigo followed the path of the blonde boy's finger with his eyes. Lying a few meters away from them was a non-moving form with orange hair. It was a non-moving form that had been lying in the heat for hours.

"Oh, shit!" So Ichigo had quickly inserted himself back into his body and prepared yet again to go to sleep. But before he could even close his eyes, Hutch had made some comment about how he was quite worried about the fact that a human had been able to get through his shield. So the Vizards had voted and decided that they would each keep watch for an hour that night. Ichigo, as the newest member, would be the last to go.

Ichigo took another glance around the Vizards' training facility and felt his brows furrow deeper. He was getting used to seeing places such as this. This place reminded him of the area under Urahara-san's shop, the place where he had trained to achieve Bankai in Seireitei, and, he couldn't help it, the inside of his own soul. It must have been something about the sky. It seemed so phony for some reason.

'_Hey, I have to live here, you know._' Ichigo's eyes widened at the voice. '_Aww, what's wrong?_' The voice now held a familiar mocking tone to it. Ichigo rolled his eyes slightly and imagined himself punching his damn Hollow in the face. '_Now that's pretty rude of you there, King. And here I thought we were going to be partnerin' up and all._'

'Oh, shut up.' Ichigo had to hand it to the Vizards. They certainly had helped him out with his Hollow problem. The monster inside him seemed to have temporarily stopped its quest to consume Ichigo's soul. But that didn't mean the Hollow was gone. 'Are you seriously gonna try havin' a conversation with me? 'Cause I dunno if you've realized it yet but I really don't like you.' Ichigo could practically see the Hollow rolling its lifeless eyes inside of him.

'_Well, what do you expect me to do? It's borin' in here. Your soul is not the most interestin' place to be, King. Plus, you were insultin' my home.'_ The Hollow paused for a moment. '_I don't blame you though. It sucks._'

'Shut up," Ichigo repeated. The Hollow was no longer continuously in his head, whispering doubts into his mind, yet every few hours it would pop up and bitch to Ichigo about one topic or another. It was kind of like Kon in that regard. Well, a Kon that could destroy him completely. Ichigo winced at the thought. Ichigo waited for a few moments and exhaled when the Hollow didn't say anything else. Good, he didn't want to deal-

'_Why doesn't it snow?_' Oh, damn, he had thought it had given up. He groaned. No, that wouldn't have been like it, would it?

"It's fall, you idiot," Ichigo murmured out loud this time. "It's still too warm for it to be snowin' out." He heard a scoff somewhere inside him.

'_I don't mean outside! I mean in here!_' Ichigo paused.

'What the hell are you talkin' about?'

'_For a smart guy, you're a fuckin' moron, King._' Ichigo didn't even have time to retort before the Hollow went on. '_Zangetsu's always goin' on an on about how it snows here. But the old man must be goin' senile cuz all I've seen so far is clouds and some drizzles."_ Ichigo shrugged, ignoring the fact that it would look like he was responding to no one. The Vizards could think whatever the fuck they wanted about his sanity for all he cared.

'It was probably Rukia. Her Zanpakutõ's all about ice and snow. I had her powers for awhile so that probably made it snow in there.'

'_Well, how the hell was I supposed to know about that? That was before my time, King._' The Hollow let out a slight giggle for some reason unknown to Ichigo before suddenly stopping. '_Well, I wanna see some fuckin' snow._'

'Well, you're just gonna have to wait till winter.' The Hollow giggled happily again. Ichigo raised one of his eyebrows. 'What the hell is up with you?'

'_I was just thinkin' that that's not the only thing comin' this winter._' Ichigo's eyes widened. No way, it can't be happy about- Oh, wait, this was the soulless monster who loved violence as much as Ichigo loved Richard III. And Ichigo was a teenager who loved his Shakespeare.

'You're seriously fucked up, you know.'

'_Oh, come on, King. You know you're gonna love it!_' The Hollow licked its lips in Ichigo's soul. '_Don't try and deny it, you love fightin'!_' Ichigo scoffed. The Hollow made a questioning noise before teasingly gasping. '_Oh, I get it. You don't want winter to come, do you? Because you know we can win this battle._'

'Of course I know I can win this battle. Why the hell would that make me upset!' The Hollow pretended to think deeply for a moment.

'_Well, how do I say this? Ah, fuck it, what was it that Renji idiot said? Oh, yeah: "We're stayin' put until all this Arrancar business is done with."'_ Ichigo shrugged again.

'Yeah, so? It makes sense. Once Aizen and the rest of those bastards are out of the picture, they won't be needed here anymore, will they?' The Hollow giggled yet again.

'_Maybe not needed. But are you sure they won't be wanted?_'

'Yeah. I could definitely do without Rangiku-san tryin' to seduce me.'

'_I ain't talkin' about the big-boobed chick._' The Hollow was quiet for a moment and if Ichigo didn't know it better, he'd think it was embarrassed. The Hollow soon continued but in a much more solemn voice. '_We didn't like it when she stayed in Soul Society. We weren't the same without her._' Ichigo's eyes widened.

'"We?" What, do you and Zangetsu have therapy sessions in there or somethin'?' Ichigo felt a sudden jolt deep inside of him and had to struggle to keep from falling over. 'Hey, you bastard, you agreed not to wreck my soul anymore! So keep the fuck away from the sideways buildings!' The Hollow ignored him and began snarling.

'_You're a fuckin' idiot, King! Zangetsu! Who gives a fuck about him! In my mind, he might as well not even be a part of you, the fuckin' weakling! I'm talkin' about you and me!_' The Hollow stopped his tirade to catch his breath. Ichigo swallowed lightly.

'"You and me?"'

'_And Rukia_,' the Hollow agreed. Ichigo ran a hand over the back of his neck as felt the skin there begin prickling.

'What the hell does she have to do with this?' Ichigo grumbled.

'_King, have you learned nothin' the last few days! I'm not just some part of your soul, like that fucker Zangetsu! I'm you. You're me. We're us. Anythin' you think, I think. We have a different way of thinkin' it, sure, but it's pretty much one and the same._' The Hollow let out another chuckle. "_Hell, we're one and the same._'

Ichigo could feel the scowl on his face becoming more of a frown.

'So what are you tryin' to say exactly?' Ichigo could feel the Hollow shrug.

'_Nothin' that you don't know yourself. Just that you're not gonna like it when Rukia decides to hightail it back to Soul Society after we fuck up Aizen._' This time it was Ichigo who shrugged.

'That's where she belongs.'

'_Oh, shut up,_" the Hollow said exasperatedly. '_You don't really believe that shit. I know you don't. Those jerk-offs tried to kill her. Her own fuckin' brother and best friend went out of their way to execute her for somethin' that she had no real choice in._' Ichigo tried to butt in, tried to argue that Byakuya and Renji didn't really want Rukia dead, but something was stopping him. Something was telling him to keep listening to what the Hollow was saying because it was nothing new to him. He himself had repeatedly thought these things after he had come back from Soul Society without her. '_You heard what Pyon said, right? They won't let her reach her full potential there_.'

Ichigo found himself nodding for a moment, before shaking his head as quickly as possible.

'He's just worried about his sister. I don't blame him. Rukia's an idiot. She's always gettin' herself messed up. You saw what Grimmjow did to her. If she was seated, she'd always be in those kinds of battles.'

'_King, she ain't seated now and she keeps gettin' fucked up. How would it be any different?_' Ichigo looked down at his feet. He did not want to answer this question. He did not want to tell the beast this secret. Then he realized something. He did not have to answer this question. The Hollow was him. It already knew the answer itself. '_Yeah, but I wanna hear you say it. Come on, King, just once. Who the hell am I gonna tell? Zangetsu? 'Cause I seriously doubt he's interested in that kind of stuff._' The Hollow gave a wry laugh. '_Or maybe he does. His life is crap-._'

'Because it's my fault,' Ichigo cut in. The Hollow immediately stopped speaking. 'She's always tryin' to keep me safe and she always pays for it.'

'_Alright,_' the Hollow responded after a pause. '_I can't say that was the answer I was expectin' to that question._' The Hollow took a minute to gather its thoughts, and this time it sounded slightly uncertain when it spoke. '_So you're sayin' she would be better off there? In Soul Society? Even though she's obviously happier with you?_'

Ichigo ran a hand through his grimy hair. He then wiped some of the gunk that had collected there onto his pants.

'Yeah, that's what I'm sayin'.' The Hollow remained silent. Ichigo sighed. It was too early for this shit. 'But I don't want her to leave. Because I'm happier with her.'

Silence followed Ichigo's confession. The only noises in the training center were the snores and breathing of the Vizards. It took a moment for Ichigo to realize his own breathing seemed kind of rushed. He placed his head in his hands. Oh, he was not going to live this down. A few minutes passed before he got any response from the Hollow.

'_I knew it._' The Hollow had only wanted to toy with his mind, to make him feel uncomfortable. It had gotten its wish. He could have just left the subject as it was. But Ichigo was a stubborn young man.

'Hey, Hollow, why the fuck are you so interested in her?' Ichigo was surprised at how angry his thoughts seemed. 'You in love with her or somethin'?'

Ichigo heard distant laughter. The Hollow had obviously gone to a deeper part of his soul. Yet when it answered him, he could still make out the words clearly no matter how far-off they sounded.

'_I told you that we're one and the same. What makes you stronger makes me stronger. I feel everythin' you feel, King,_' it said vaguely as it traveled even further. '_See you in the winter._'

The conversation was over. The Hollow was gone for now. Ichigo was left alone. When the Vizards woke up a few minutes later, he was still sitting against the rock in the same position the Hollow had left him in.


End file.
